But then I realized a pattern: the people I felt comfortable acknowledging in the halls were the ones I acknowledged early on in our brief and utterly superficial relationships. Thus, there must exist a cutoff, a certain number of blowoffs, beyond which one can never say hi to a stranger…
But seriously, I think after four or five mutual lookaways, it just becomes weird if you randomly surprise them time with a, “Hey!”
Nothing crazy ever happened to me, and it probably never will. Then again, I did win those Phillies tickets one time, and I held the high score for an arcade game at the Ben Franklin Museum for a week. Oh, and I almost met Tom Hanks at a restaurant in New York City. But that’s about the extent of my thrilling lifestyle. Frankly, I’m okay with that. I’m not so sure I could handle the pressure of living an action hero lifestyle. I’ll admit, there are occasions when I come out of a movie – Fast and Furious or Harry Potter or some other flick that I unabashedly enjoy – wishing that my life was more exciting, that every day was a new adventure. But then I look around at all the other families, couples, and middle-aged single men walking alongside me, leaving behind a world of phantasm when the exit door closes, and remind myself that the real world is just that – real. Bland. Monotonous. Who in the world actually street races or battles villains in dungeons? Who actually falls in love at a record store? I pick a popcorn kernel from between my two front teeth and flick it on the ground. For now I’m content with seeing a minor leaguer at the mall and sneaking water bottles into art galleries.
Even though our lives might not follow the plot of Fast and Furious, there is something Hollywood managed to depict realistically: the mind. This is the only space in which we can escape the banality of real life, the stale taste of old coffee. It’s a place where we can mimic our big screen idols. The mind gives us much more control, at least most of the time, over what we see. Our minds can create illusions and choose what our world looks like. Our minds can create memories, most of them false, that can be manipulated by the slightest influence. These are the subconscious inner workings that fascinate me – how we construct stories about our lives, how we lull ourselves into a sense of security that our surroundings are as they appear.
As a kid I always wondered what life would be like from the perspective of another person. What does he observe? What does he conclude? What mistakes has he made? It’s hard to view others as sentient beings when all we know is folded neatly in our heads. These are the musings that inspire my stories. What is it like to embody a character in a fantastical situation? What goes through his mind that he is aware of? That he misses? I’ve found that flash fiction, short insights into a character’s life, are the most rewarding for examining these questions.
Okay, so maybe I enjoy living precariously through fictional characters a little too much. I think it’s fair given that I was never the high school quarterback or the hopeless romantic. When it comes to fiction, however, I can be. Or at least I can see what it’s like. Most of my inspiration comes from trivial settings, in which I summon the assistance of fictional detail and conflict. Because let’s be honest, most situations that people find themselves in are rather simple. It’s what goes on in the mind, the memories that are invoked, that makes these situations significant. My goal is to bring excitement and meaning back into the real world by adding more color.
