Written circa 1999

Hi!  I’m David.  I come from the planet Zoder.  My species is the Fonidon.  Now I’m gonna tell you about the time I had a big adventure.

I was outside trying out my new Zodabike.  All of a sudden, it burst into space with light speed.  Well, of course I can survive in space without air.  We don’t need it!  My species doesn’t breathe!

Well since I was already up there and knew the whole universe, I went to Icix2 to meet my friend, Steve.  He has a metal body and a head that can repair itself.

When I rang his doorbell, his mom answered.  She said Steve wasn’t there.  She said he was at a mission in space.

So I somehow made it back to space (don’t ask me how).  I saw a green blur in the distance.  I knew it had to be Steve’s Icitron.  I zoomed at it at 3 trillion light years a minute.  I was there in 0.2 nanoseconds.  I knocked on the metal.  A grumpy Zingbat opened the door.

It wasn’t Steve!  But it was his ship!  At once I thought that the Zingbat robbed him.  Where could he be?

Out of nowhere, the Zingbat attacked.  I took out my Super X200 Laser Blaster and poked him with it.  He let go and started crying.

I thought he was a wimp!  The most treacherous animal of all!  Crying over a little mark!  Now that was something to laugh at!  I couldn’t resist laughing.

Then, the Zingbat revealed its true identity.  Steve!!  Steve always playcries!

Then we went to hang out at the Black Hole.  All of a sudden we got sucked up by gravity.  We were in the center of the Black Hole.  There were many other Fonidons, Zingbats, Itoteers, and Jotrits.  Itoteers and Jotrits are both from Numid, a planet 1 light year away from Zoder.  Then I saw Shawn the robot.

He came at me, shaked my hand, and said, “Hi.”  Steve and I got bored so we left.  Then when we were flying, we saw Bob’s burnt head flying in space next to his demented leg.

We both jumped.  Then, I drove back to Zoder at 700 billion light years a millisecond.  We got there in negative 1 trillion nanoseconds.

Right when we were landing, my brakes stopped working.  So then we crashed into the ground and there was such great force that when we crashed, we made a hole all the way to the center of the planet.  We were stuck!  And to make matters worse, the Icitron broke down.  The batteries were dead and there wasn’t any fuel left.

[Not to be continued…]