How to Identify the Coolest People on Campus

Often when walking around a college campus, you may find yourself asking, “Who is the coolest kid here?” I know that I do for sure. Here are a few ways to help you figure out who’s cool. You may not know it, but the signs are right in front of you!

1. If one is playing music at excessive volumes, especially during the night, he is most likely very cool. You may overhear this music, typically of the hip-hop genre, blasting from a car or through someone’s headphones or even through the wall of your dorm room! If you can hear music from the privacy of your own room, the culprit is probably awesome and has many friends.
2. Another way to identify the coolest kid on any given day is by the amount of daps and/or shout-outs given to acquaintances in the quad. This is a sure sign of a cool cat. If you walk through the quad and don’t see anyone you know, you are probably a loser and in the math club.
3. When I see someone texting in class or in line for lunch, I usually feel bad about myself because of how much cooler this person is than I am. Texts are often followed by laughing and shaking of the head, as if to say, “Oh Rob, you’re so funny! And I’m so cool right now with all my connections!”
4. There is also a direct correlation between coolness and speed of walking. The slower you walk, and with the least concern for other pedestrians, the cooler you must be.
5. Alcohol is always an indicator of coolness as well. Cool people can often be overheard talking loudly and purposefully about what type of beer or liquor they enjoy and how many different parties they hit up last night. This is typically followed by a description of how “shmammered” one may have gotten on a particular weekend.
6. The last, but definitely not least, sign of a cool person is if he or she accelerates very quickly on campus roads, especially when driving past students. Loud exhaust systems essentially seal the deal when it comes to a cool dude. Everyone knows that the faster and louder the car, the cooler the driver.

So those are just a few tips to help you get out there and figure out who’s cool and who’s not. Happy spotting!