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Tuesday, July 13, 2010

So Everyone's Friends Now, Huh?

Ok I’ve been at my first legitimate full-time job for a little over a month now, and I’ve noticed a number of things about the workplace. Because of my lack of work experience, I have no clue if this is what most workplaces are like. If I were to guess, it probably isn’t.

Before I describe the employees, I’ll talk a little bit about my lab/office/place.

The first thing you may notice when walking through the lab is the giant microwave in the hallway that reads, “No Food Allowed.” Upon further inspection, one will learn that this microwave is used for dissolving solutes and assorted other experiments.

Next you may come across a series of rooms, each labeled with its respective area of focus. 132 - Biochemistry. 134 - Molecular Biology. 136 - Stuff You’ve Never Heard of. When you peer into these rooms, you’ll notice that they are illuminated by eerie yellow lights. These are the very lights that you will spend the entire workweek under.

In these rooms you’ll find all sorts of gizmos and gadgets and tube shakers and centrifuges and what not. Some machine is always on in every room, whirring or swirling or vibrating.

If you backtrack a bit and make a left, you’ll be on your way to the break room/computer room. But not before you pass the 6-foot metal container labeled, “NITROGEN. HIGHLY PRESSURIZED.” Don’t mind the white smoke fuming out of the container and covering the entire floor of the hall. This is normal! At least when someone is filling up his nitrogen tank…

In the break room, you’ll find a refrigerator packed to the brim with all sorts of lunches prepared by fellow employees. These may include lo mein noodles, sticky rice dishes, various Asian soups, and other wonderful ethnic eats.

You would also see my tiny desk. Yes, my desk is in the break room. It is very conducive to working. You’ll also see the rack that used to hold my 9 name-customized lab coats. That is until they were taken away due to a misorder. At least I got to wear them for 3 weeks.

Now we can get to the various characters I encounter in the workplace. We have the way-too-happy middle-aged ladies. We have the cool and hip grad students. We have the very uncool and nerdy grad students. We have bipolar/unreadable lunch ladies. We have goofy handymen. We have angry handymen. We have intimidating Asians. We have easygoing Asians. We have famous people that I didn’t know were doctors like Dr. L. Tomlinson and Dr. C. Klein. My workplace is a colorful microcosm of society... if society were full of science geeks people.

But in particular, there are three people that for some reason smile and give me “the nod” every time I walk by. Why are these people so happy? Why are they so nice? I don’t understand. Actually, I think it’s because walking by someone is too awkward, especially when you’re the only two people in the hallway and approaching each other from opposite ends. Then it’s really awkward. And our hallways are long. So I guess smiling and nodding is a bit less awkward. Anyway, I always return the smile and nod, but then I feel so fake afterwards. After passing these cheerful people, I find myself making sarcastic smiley faces to myself as I’m walking to wherever I walk to. Then again, maybe I'm just a scrooge.

So in closing, is everyone suddenly friends now? Did I not get the memo? Does this sort of thing happen at every workplace?

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